Notes on Styling | 54 | 15 Things that I've seen help clients the most on their Style Journey.
Reflections from 2 years of Style Design Clients.
It’s been two years since I started taking clients into my Style Design world and it’s been a ride. In the busyness of always moving forward, we (I?) can be slow to give ourselves space to look back and reflect, to take in the moment we are in, and learn from what’s gone.
Taking clients through a style transformation on a shop floor or students in a classroom has been my thing for 15 years - but working one-to-one with so much more time and depth has been a real process of learning - for me too. I care deeply for each client and want this journey to feel more than the transformation I know the clothes themselves will bring. Through the clothes, we expect to feel something different. But many other things that come from taking yourself on a style journey. So in giving myself time to reflect, I want to share the nitty-gritty of my thoughts.
Things that have brought the biggest changes.
Today, I want to share the things I have seen make the biggest personal shifts for my clients - in how they have felt in themselves and in their clothes - as part of taking time out to redesign, reimagine and reconnect with their style.
15 Things that have helped my Clients hit refresh on their Style Journey.
Re-establishing your relationship with your body. Ok, this is certainly not a little thing or a short-term thing but what I have seen here are new beginnings.
New beginnings around how you look at your body, giving a renewed sense of confidence and openness with accepting what is. I have seen clients look for the first time at their body through kind eyes when they see they don’t have to change anything about their body in order to feel differently in their clothes.
Understanding your bodies lines and curves. Understanding finally where to put you focus in terms of buying and dressing, where you want to draw the eye and where you don’t. Focus on your beautiful self.
Being true to yourself around your own body. Being true in the sense of knowing deep down when your body feels at it’s most long-term natural self and natural weight. Not waiting for those jeans from 10 years ago to fit. Once you accept your most natural self, you can begin to move forward with a different approach to your clothes. With more acceptance and love, you will see your body differently. It is the clothes and your personal styling approach then that becomes your tool that can help to strengthen a whole new perspective.
Understanding your body’s proportions. This is the single biggest thing that can help you fully understand your body and help you understand what to buy more of and how to put things together seamlessly for your shape.
There are three dominant ways it can go:
- Short torso/ Longer Legs.
- Balanced upper & Lower Body with a short middle.
- Long Torso/ Shorter legs.
The General Styling Rule for our Bodies Proportions
Focus first on how you can make your legs look longer than your top half. The eye ultimately wants to see a longer leg (think models on a catwalk) over a longer torso. It might seem like a little thing but when you feel this balance in your own body, through your clothes, it can really change how clothes feel. So the key is to know how you can achieve this for your particular body type.
It can be achieved for everyone!
Having 2 or 3 simple Outfit Formulas mailed down for your overall style direction. These 2 or 3 style formulas will tick the boxes we identify for your style and will get you out of trouble on those days you don’t know/ can’t be bothered/ don’t have the time to think about clothes. And, yes, that can be a lot of days. For me too. That’s why this one is key to feeling connected to your style most of the time. It stops you feeling like ‘style’ is just for those days when there is absolutely nothing going on and you have all the time in the world. Your style, when understood should make life simpler and this starts with 2 or 3 formulas that become your easy go-to looks to build from.
Formulas are created from the facts of your body shape, your colour direction, your style direction, your words and the overall vibe you want to create. And yes, that takes time ♥
Examples from below:
Loose silhouettes on top and bottom tucked at the waist + quirky accessory + high heel.
Great fit denim + Neutral knit + Pop of Colour.
Great fit denim + white tee + Oversized Blazer + Interesting shoe.
Having a proper bra fitting. Most especially if you are someone who feels your bust is always one of your top considerations each time you get dressed or shop. Your bust is a style maker or breaker. It can change the whole foundation of an outfit. If your bust is sitting where it should and not crowding your all-important waist, you can wear and try out so many more things than you can imagine. If not, you can see how the bust becomes the part we shop for and becomes the thing what takes over everything else with what we wear. A great bra can change everything.
Playing with your current clothes starts to build a creative mindset.
I saw this (most surprisingly for me too) begin even from our first session together at my lovely client’s wardrobe doors. It took only a couple of hours to begin to see new light bulbs going off with what’s possible for their body shape and style - working only with what you already have.
Every client (without fail) will have items they only wear in a certain way. Having the help to play with your current clothes is the beginning of helping to break down these ideas and reframe things. But the real benefit here is it gets you into a creative, more open mindset to carry forward, which makes you brave with what you pick from your Styling Boards.
From what I have seen, playing with your current clothes also has 3 other big benefits:
Trying on clothes you are familiar with helps get to the heart of your body shape, your likes and dislikes and the little bottlenecks we can see in how you approach putting your clothes together.
It helps us to see what clothes we want to carry forward into the journey and what goes to the ‘maybe’ pile to decide further along the track when more is learned.
This one is mostly for me. I can see after a couple of hours at your wardrobe doors both the helpful and unhelpful habits and associations you have built up around all aspects of your style over the years. Little things that have really led how you buy. Once I have been able to see these we can gently reflect on them as we go.
6. Treating your wardrobe like a Magazine you are editing just for you.
Just like creating the perfect magazine spread where everything goes together, is edited well and looked after beautifully.
Do you really treat your clothes and your wardrobe well? I have seen the difference it makes when you love & take care of your things. Knowing what you have and where it is. Having your own system for how your day-to-day style works. If you look after your clothes it really helps to ask yourself the right questions about things you add - is it really a good piece for my wardrobe? Do I really want to care for this item longer term? Will it add to what I already own? How do I see myself wearing this item so it fits with my style?
Buying well starts with how you treat what you’ve already got. When you know what you’ve got and you love what you’ve got, it’s like your very own portfolio of items you are really in tune with. It means you will have a much better handle on knowing when something will be a good addition or not.
See your style as one holistic thing that’s not just about clothes. It is about lots of personal elements being understood about yourself that form part of creating your whole style picture. This includes understanding your skin tone and hair colour so you can choose both make-up products and the right colour direction for your hair that feel most natural for you. I’ve seen so many examples where the switching of a lip gloss or the shade of a foundation has helped someone understand the colour direction that feels best for them in their clothes too. One can complement and enhance the other.
In this way, it is also about the relationship you build with your body. Really leaning int your own uniqueness. Knowing no one in the world is exactly like you and that’s your style superpower. Letting go of what others think and really doing what feels good to you.
Style is about blending your personal features with your personal preferences and getting a balance that feels good between the two.
Identifying the Ying & Yang of your style. A great outfit usually doesn’t feel all one thing - all casual, all colourful, or all 70’s. It will have an element of 2 different things that will make it feel great to you. Styling is about opposite things coming together as much as things feeling in harmony. Ying and Yang could be a casual outfit finished with a cool heel. It could be neutrals with a pop of colour in your accessories. It could be sporty items combined with chic handbags. We each have a Ying and Yang to uncover and when you do it gives real focus to getting dressed in a way that feels good to you. It also helps you buy with real purpose and understanding. Your Ying and Yang will come from understanding your Style Elements and identifying your personal style words.
Understanding it’s all about the vibe you want to create.
Style Design teaches that your style is a feeling your clothes give you when you get it right for you.
Tuning into the feeling you want to have, reminds you that when you see an item you love on someone else, it is usually about the styling of the item over the item itself. The vibe of the whole look is drawing you in. This is what you want to take real notice of rather than going straight too ‘this item will change my wardrobe’. It takes time to come to this mindset but I have seen it make a big difference to being able to admire an item and take the learning and know truly whether to look out for something similar or whether it’s enough to admire that person’s style knowing it’s not truly you. Part of it will be in how the hair is worn or the shoes that have finished the look that brings it in a certain direction. You can see that you may just be connecting to the item through someone else’s style.
Get dressed from the bottom up.
Styling is a process of putting things together, each element adding to the overall impact of the look. So many of us start by picking an item for ‘the bit we don’t like’ - a long top to cover the tummy for example or we buy for our bust and once we feel comfortable with this bit, we disregard the rest. Whether you are conscious of a part of your body on the bottom half or top half, I have seen the approach of choosing a great fitting item for your bottom half first (which should create an excellent foundation to build around) give so much more flexibility with what you can add and play with on your top half. It also gives focus to how you create outfits each day.
Understanding what value looks like for you. A big learning is knowing what you put value on and why. The clothes you love don’t have to cost the earth but neither should your wardrobe be built on thinking more clothes is the answer just because access and price make it so. It is easy to get into a circle of buying and adding this or that to our wardrobes frequently. When you learn that your wardrobe is a much happier place with less stuff that feels better for you, things change in how you buy. Your wardrobe can include a mix of good high-street staples from brands you love elevated with beautiful bags that cost a little more or perhaps shoes that come from unique and interesting brands. Value looks slightly different for everyone and your mix is what you need to understand.
Because Style Design is about the creation of new looks through your Style Boards at the end of the process - this is one I have personally struggled with the most with clients. I can understand why the urge is to buy lots but honestly for me, I want the looks to provide focus, ideas, and clarity on the style picture while trying to get the balance right on the buying.
Realising our style is a process not a fixed point that is reached with the perfect outfits. It’s always evolving. As long as we take the time to tune in, we can set an intention related to what we need/want and access that by mindfully selecting the clothing we wear. Some days you want to feel sexy. Some days you want to feel cosy and nurtured. That’s real life. You can have items that allow both feelings that still feel true to your look.
There are always more clothes to buy but only one you.
Understanding the little ways you have been standing in the way of your style. I use the Style Elements that come from Feng Shui/ or Nature’s 5 Elements to help understand a client’s most natural instincts. This has been a learning for me but one that’s made such a huge difference to helping to give a different dimension to how a client understands their current approach to their clothes and buying. We each have 2 elements that inform how we are in our day-to-day lives. An example would be Wood/ Fire combo - which brings an ‘all or nothing’ approach to clothes (entirely dressed up or in scraggs). When we take the time to tune into our elements, we can see what we need to be mindful of and what’s been holding us back.
So, the question I have been helping clients answer is; what are your most natural instincts when it comes to your clothes and how has that impacted your style choices to date?
Taking pictures of all your successful/ loved outfit creations. Taking pictures of those outfits you have put together and loved wearing is pretty cool! I encourage clients to start a little file in the photos on their phones to pop them in there. This simple file becomes your bank of looks to evaluate, call on when you need and put your style words against to help see how things are feeling and to make tweaks as you go. It also shows you good outfit formulas and helps you perfect the recipe of learning to put your Style words together into a look.
Cutting down on the brands you shop from until you begin to feel aligned with your look. It is definitely a good idea to simplify first when getting used to your style. We try to Identify say 3 core brands in a season that you want too invest from. Sure, you will see and buy other bits along the way, but it helps to stop the aimless scrolling and browse everything you come across - which can be really disheartening for your style. Remember you are trying to build up that style confidence muscle. Actively shopping 3 brands, adding good pieces you can see the value in and then adding in more in gradually really helps to connect to your own personal style picture.
That’s it for this week!
Thanks so much for reading and I hope some of my thoughts resonate for you. It’s really helped me reflect on things too and in lots of cases see the little things that have made a bigger difference to the clothes themselves!
I am always in the comments or you can reach me - hi@juliecobbe.ie.
See you soon again,
Julie x
Brilliant article! Xx
Love this Jules 😍 feels like it was written for me 😘😘