Notes on Styling | 65 | Styling thoughts for Autumn & writing here this season.

Hello my lovlies,

It’s October 4th and I am a bad Substack friend.

I am only writing to you now.

It has been a busy couple of months and I am sorry. Best-laid plans sometimes fall apart. I hope you have been well. Autumn is well and truly here, wardrobes have well and truly been changed over and I have been thinking a lot about what I want to wear this season. How I want the things I wear to feel.

But first. I have decided to turn off all paid subscriptions indefinitely.

After much deliberation, I want my sharing here to be free for all (a huge and special thank you to all who have been subscribing up to this point.) This might seem like a funny thing to do but the truth is, I just crave less pressure to create at specific times here and though you guys don’t put pressure on me, I put pressure on me :-) I want to share in a more free-flowing way, in a way that supplements my coaching and allows me to share little things that sometimes do and sometimes don’t relate to that but that always feels true to the thing I hold most dear - helping you to see you again through your clothes.

You might not hear from me so often but then again, maybe with less pressure, I will write little and often. Let’s see.

Now, back to some bits I have been scribbling down over September and have waited way too long to share.

Julie x

I’ve been really reflecting lately on what brings my clients to me. What I do is definitely niche in styling. More long-term change over a spur of the moment. I do know many of my coaching clients come to me because they struggle to identify themselves through the clothes they buy. Some are coming out the other side of having their babies. Some are not mums at all. Some are changing careers or wanting to simply take back control of their style identity, having had it defined by others/ jobs/ roles in their life for too long.

When it comes to our style all we want is to love what we put on, to feel good in it, to feel in control of our version of creativity. To love what’s inside our wardrobe doors. Clothes that share the best of us with others. But the real truth is, most of the stories our clothes tell - is to us. Our clothes make us think about ourselves every day. The choices we make create our own self-judgement. We are what matters. What we think about ourselves in them. How we feel in them. How they make us feel. That’s the knock-on to how other people will see us. How we see ourselves.

The clothes we choose and the path to finding our own style should matter most to us.

And so I’ve been scribbling down some things here over the last few busy weeks that I’ve been thinking about, over and above the usual ‘fresh starts’ and ‘wardrobe overhauls’ that we’ve come to expect to see in Autumn.

These are just some little things I like to think about when I’m not up for anything too drastic but want to make plans and sew seeds at a slower pace that feels more long term and meaningful. That makes me feel like I’m doing it for me - you know?

I hope these help you too.

I want more outfits this Autumn, not just more clothes;

I like to think of my clothes as lots of pieces of one puzzle. Each one should work with other pieces in my overall style puzzle. I am going to try not to buy things I already have a puzzle piece for. I want to buy things that add to the puzzle. I looked hard at my wardrobe in September to see what I would love to add and tried to notice what my ‘repetitive styling’ brain felt I needed another of (spoiler: I have enough long-sleeved stripe tops).

My one purchase so far has been this Madewell chocolate Suede Tote. I have been wearing to death my much loved Coach Cross body bag as my default bag most days and I was so ready for an everyday tote. I saw this bag last year (it comes in lots of colours here) but the chocolate/ suede just felt like me. It’s relaxed, fits a laptop and feels like the perfect roomy get up and go bag.

Question: What pieces will add to your style puzzle for Autumn?

Is it time for a review of what we view?

I’ve been surprised over September my ‘screen time’ which usually scares the bejeesus out of me was less than an hour a day. Now, more than being some grand detox plan, it’s just been a busssyyy month and I’ve not had the time - but my head feels the better of it. The time is coming (and I think we all feel it) to really think more about the things we mindlessly consume, things that whether we like it or not have an influence on what we buy, think about ourselves and feel in our own skin.

Take it bit by bit. Instead of one big cull the next time you get fed/ see content from someone that you feel in your heart is not serving you, unfollow. Fashion overload does not help to streamline your choices or feel in control of what might be a good addition to your wardrobe for the season ahead.

Three people/ newsletters I love that really add value to my thinking on my own style;

The Anna Edit.

Amy from The creative Pragmatist.

Harriet Hadfield - Harry Styles.

I like to think of my wardrobe just like a fashion editor thinks of their magazine pages.

Approach your wardrobe this Autumn a bit like a magazine editor would. They only have so much space to work with and they are trying to build a cohesive story. Your wardrobe is no different. Make it count. If you feel you are starting from scratch or you want to develop a certain style direction for Autumn, what’s the best first thing that can help you with that? Lay it down on your bed and add to it one item at a time. it helps to have a separate rail outside of your wardrobe doors, to hang your style story on. You only need 8-10 items to create 16-20 outfits.

Little story: I had a client catch-up call this week. I was all set to pick some Autumn outfits but once we chatted, I knew what she needed was not new clothes but time first focus on the things she’s been really enjoying from her wardrobe first. Those really good things. To take control and soften the overwhelm. I got her to download Indyx and she is beginning to catalogue her favourite things (right now). Rather than looking in her wardrobe and feeling confused, it will be better to look in her app at the things she loves and play creatively there to help her see what’s what. This way she can more easily see the gaps and what’s needed to create more outfits and also to begin to just feel in control of what will be bought this season.

I’m getting a lot from Amy’s writing from The Creative Pragmatist.

I am sharing below something I read in her recent substack that I am so in love with. Could not be more true.

Of all the things that qualify as overrated, thinking is not one of them. I’m a big fan of it. It’s why I don’t tweet. There’s very little I’ve said spontaneously that wasn’t followed with a pause or a question mark, begging for more context. Think of your thoughts like a ball of dough, they need to be kneaded, and sometimes set aside to sit until they take shape. When they don’t fully rise, you find you were missing a key ingredient, lacking the needed elements to create a fully formed loaf. 

Doubling down on being human means recognizing we can be many things at once, and if you live in the grey as I do, then a wardrobe or outfits that speak in absolutes suffocates your personal style.

…. be aware of the choices you make, what feelings they conjure, and how they impact the greater whole of your personal style. As you find yourself doing this more and more, pausing, reflecting, thinking - it becomes easier.

• you become better at recognizing when and why something feels off

• you’ve experience in what will fix the problem for you

• you’ll have access to better tools in your closet as your found knowledge helps you buy with more success.

LOVE.

Think about life right now for you and what your main character energy feels like??

I’ve really been thinking about this lately. I do a lot of work with clients on uncovering their 3 style words. The ones that will provide guidance and help in tuning into their style. But the truth is they can be a source of frustration too.

Do style words make you feel a little stuck?

Unable to experiment or move about and try new things? Kind of like Amy refers to above.

Just like some fixed colour chart can do, your style words should be a source of stability and centeredness so you build your confidence enough to play around the edges and go off-piste if that’s what makes you happy in a moment. I use the Chinese 5 elements to help my clients uncover what their most dominant energies are, when it comes to their style instincts, which are amazing at helping to tune into the most authentic style words but I’ve come to believe that word number 3, should be like that extra ingredient you play with, that moves about and that changes with the seasons. It should feel flexible. It needs space to change in the seasons and with what you need and want to try.

Rather than starting this season with all your ‘should do’s,’ ask yourself, how do I really feel? Do I want outfits this season that feel more grounded and nurturing or am I wanting more social, braver or even bolder looks because that’s where my energy is?

Understanding your energy right now can help you lean into better outfits that feel like you are really listening to you.

Kindly Kindly Kindly to your body. Focus on understanding.

Clothes thoughts = Body Thoughts, right?

I can’t wear that, because my body is like this - right?

Instead of focusing on what size you are or shape or the bits you dislike or need to change before you ever feel happy in your clothes, remember this one thing.

It’s much more helpful to understand your body’s proportions and what you want an item of clothing to do for your body.

• A size up on top might make your pear shape feel more in balance.

• A Longer-line jacket might balance out your body overall as perhaps you have a shorter waist v longer legs.

• Shortening the sleeves on your favourite jacket may make your proportions feel much better, neater, and more balanced.

• Are you not wearing those expensive trousers you own because of a design detail that’s making them feel like you can only wear them with a particular formal jacket? In so many cases, shortening or letting down and hence hitting at a different place on your ankle is all it takes to change the feel of an item and give you more styling options and hence get more wear.

Little things matter when it comes to clothes that’s nothing to do with the size on a label. It’s a matter of understanding your body and what details matter when you look, buy, browse and alter. Look both at what you own but also what you buy through this lens.

Ask yourself this simple question for the season ahead - what kinds of clothes will make me happy?

I’ve been thinking of Outfit Ingredients over Capsule Pieces

Stylists say we should invest in ‘good capsule pieces’. The perfect jeans, that perfect jacket. But having these things does not make it a sure thing you will have outfits you love. Everyone’s capsule pieces are different for them and to be honest in my experience unless one of your style words is ‘classic’ most capsule lists I see are a little boring. Heck, even a classic dresser loves that little something that enhances that classic feeling. I’ve been letting go of the word ‘capsule’ and instead thinking of my Outfit Ingredients, the things that build the kind of outfits I love.

Here are some little things you can do to help you tune into the outfit ingredients that help you create more outfits.

• Consider a couple of colours you love right now. These don’t have to be ‘brights’ either. For me, for Autumn, I've really been drawn to deep cool chocolate brown. I love the idea of it with darker denim, with navy and I also love it with just a simple white tee. Something different to black and grey too. A great capsule piece for me would be a chocolate brown wool coat….

• Consider a personal shopping appointment to have a few hours to yourself to just have fun trying things on to see what you learn!

• Think about your texture and layering options. Both add something special to how an outfit feels (I love this Andersons belt for Autumn). Little things like this make great Outfit Ingredients.

• Use Indyx to catalogue those things that are your ‘sure things’ for your current wardrobe - your favourites, just like I am getting my client to do. Then play with the things you upload and create some outfits - this really helps to show you what outfit ingredients are missing. Cataloguing your favourite items is a game changer for anyone who feels they are not creative with their clothes. Trust me. So much so, I am integrating this as a non-negotiable into my Style Coaching.

Thanks so much for reading. I appreciate this little community so much and having the space to share thoughts and ideas.

You can reach me anytime on my email hi@juliecobbe.ie

Happy Autumn and I will speak to you all soon.

Julie x