6. Are any of these things holding you back?
We tell ourselves styling is about our bodies & our budgets but really it's about seeing ourselves through fresh eyes and feeling creative within ourselves again.
This weekend I was styling at home & personal shopping with my lovely client, Ali. Ali has kindly allowed me to share some of our work together so I wanted to get down on paper just what happens when you open yourself up to a new way of thinking about yourself and your clothes. But also what are the things I know she will be processing this week as she takes in the weekend’s session and the culmination of a couple of months of learning and cultivating her style?
Ali works in a corporate job and has done it for a long enough time, that her personal style had become dominated by who she felt she had to be at work. Her ‘Saturday’ style as we call it was lost in the midst of structured suits, pencil skirts and pointy heels.
When our personal beliefs about ourselves build up over time through the roles we hold in our lives, the lines become blurred between who we think we are and who we really are - and yes, this has a big impact on our clothes too.
The work is in getting the support and guidance to be reminded of who YOU are and what YOU love again. To feel connected to a style that feels natural you. It’s not about trends or 1 hour morning styling routines, it’s about great pieces that mix and match from brands you feel a connection too and an ease with that makes you feel stylish, whole, happy. It matters and it impacts everything else in your day.
Ali and I have been working on this through my Style Retreat and Saturday was one of the last pieces of the puzzle, putting it into practice and having a play in the shops, plus playing with the clothes she’s already got at home.
Here are just some of the thoughts and ideas that Ali will be exploring and thinking about this week after our lovely session together
Styling 1.0.1 - Bra comes first. Ali has an hourglass shape and after a proper bra fitting, the whole foundation to what we were able to do became easier. As an hourglass (with boobs), if you wear a bad bra, it crowds your waist and even the tiniest amount leaves you feeling it’s always about your boobs. Get the right bra and you feel smaller, neater and with not side cleavage most importantly, your waist now has more space and length have fun with your styling. Passionata was the brand we loved for Ali.
How we see and wear our clothes becomes fixed by how we see individual items. Our idea that there is one way you wear a particular item closes your mind to creativity. Instead, tune into what you want your outfit to feel like and play with this by choosing other ways to style an item. Ali and I called this playing with the Ying & Yang of an outfit - that smart skirt you have that you only ever wear with your smart jacket? What about thinking about it in a more casual way and teaming with a soft cropped knit and flats? or how about you dress up your favourite jeans with a lovely blazer or your smartest heels? Styling is simply a matter of opening your mind & creating outfits that give you the feeling you like when you wear a great outfit. Ali and I were working with the words ‘Elegant, Simple and Fun’ in everything we created and in the feeling we were after.
You want to have a sense of focus of what your style looks and feels like to you. You have words to describe it (for Ali that is Elegant, Simple & Fun), a colour direction to focus on (for Ali that is mainly deep warm tone but also lots of neutral tones generally). You can instantly break down the shop and focus more on what you try.
Start an outfit by choosing a bottom half item first. This gives you a way to approach putting your clothes together that feels more manageable, it focuses the mind and feels more creative & fun.
What REALLY matters to your body shape usually boils down to a couple of things. They will become your much simpler focus as you scan the rails. Ali is a classic hourglass shape. Boobs, hips, narrow waist. For Ali our focus is on 1) Bring trousers and skirts high up on the waist to create the right foundation and lines around her narrowest point. 2) Forget longer tops and jumpers, think cropped and shorter styles, open necklines and 3/4 length sleeves or different lengths with layers - all to create the right lines in the right places for her curves.
Shoes and accessories are everything to create flexibility around your outfits. Having wearable, comfortable and stylish shoe options just instantly change the feeling of an outfit. Most of the time you don’t need more clothes, you need to be introduced to some great shoes and new shoe brands that help you bring your clothes together in a way that feels like you.
Finally, remember that you are in charge of designing a style that feels like you. It is in you. You just need help to see what words, ideas and colours excite you and feel ace when you put them all together. Once you have a visual and direction, things get simpler, finding the right shops and brands feels easier and shopping becomes fun again!
Shoes Dune, Skirt Whistles and Top Mint Velvet. Oh yes, and by the way, it’s ok to categorise your wardrobe. I think it’s important to recognise where you are in your personal styling journey. It’s ok to have your work clothes seperate to your weekend personal style. Sometimes they are just different. Sometimes you are focusing on one over the other and need the headspace and a method to do that. I started my work with Ali and we decided we would ignore her work wardrobe in order to focus clearly on who she was outside of her role. The interesting thing, which Ali and I subsequently noticed together was when you make changes in one area it slowly begins to seep into other areas too once it feels manageable and you feel more confident in yourself.
And isn’t that magic :-)
Julie x