7. I used to think I couldn't wear this...

Then I let go of the rules.

Aug 08, 2023

Styling by dictionary definition is ‘the way in which something is made, designed, performed or put together.’ It suggests play, exploration, a collection of things that are arranged by us. This is what we do when we put our clothes together.

It is a creative endeavour but as humans, we like to have rules to follow.

I got this skirt from Zara recently and I have curvy hips and bum. If you were putting bodies into categories I would be a Pear and if I was teaching a styling class some years back I would talk about a couple of styling guidelines a Pear should consider - skimming those hips with gentle ‘A’ lines, being mindful of too much width on your bottom half as it will just make you look & feel more bottom heavy.

The good old rule book hey :-)

But time is a healer.

And I have healed from those years of believing the rule book was anything other than a friend who has your best interests at heart but really - girl, you got this. What’s much more important, is knowing enough about your own body that you can tell what feels good. What makes you stand tall. What can be styled/ played with.

What feels good to you.

I knew this skirt was for me the moment I tried it. It’s an exaggerated A Line with waaay more fabric than the rule book would allow.

Zara Skirt, Cream Mules old from Jigsaw, Little vest top Primark, Bag Coach, Sunglasses Rayban.

The trick that helps to LET GO of the rules? Make sure the fit around your key narrow point (your waist) is neat, fits beautifully and feels like it shows this point off.

I also learnt from styling many pears that actually what can be better than a gentle ‘A’ Line is a wholly exaggerated amount of material, which interestingly, can trick the eye and the senses into hiding the feeling of being wider at this point.

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It certainly does for me.

Also, many of these things depend on the degree of ‘pear’ you are dealing with, whether there is a difference at all in your sizing between your top and bottom and whether you feel aware at all of any difference or of your hips in general.

So, this week, I’ve been having fun styling this skirt (which has pockets!) teaming it with neutral, simple basics mostly - but I have also worn with runners and my oversized Annie Bing Jumper (what’s with this weather!?), which was also an exploration that felt good.

The rule book would say oversized with oversized = no no. But by tucking in the front of the jumper I could still feel my waist (the narrowest point) was not lost so it felt good to me.

Wearing same skirt with oversized Anine Bing Jumper. A very oversized vibe. I tucked up the jumper at the front and into the skirt so it felt more thoughtful a little less bag lady but I was loving this undone vibe!

And so I urge you to go explore!

I like to always remind myself that style is always an exploration. Moving outside the lines is what helps you connect to more ideas that work for you and give you the feeling you are after. (Just see my exploration with denim here.).

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All you really need are your style parameters - I call it your style framework - which includes things like your style words, and your preferred colour palette, thoughtfully matched to what you love. This knowing about yourself then gives you the confidence to explore different shapes, styles and ideas while knowing where you can go back too - where that feeling of home is for your wardrobe and style.

If you like the idea of exploring a long black skirt, here are a couple of similar options I like (Zara one linked too):